CVs, portfolios, jobs and the dead ends of casual thinking… 1. Forewords

I didn’t write too many CVs in my life; clients recommended me and that was enough to have jobs.
In the most of my life I was freelancer, ‘independent’ advisor/project manager, volunteer, whatever. That offered me freedom with my critics and ideas.
I never wanted to build a so-called career, I never went for big salaries as a motive.
I wanted interesting tasks and enough money for my definitely not luxury lifestyle.
I never imagined that I will be responsible for others, I never thought that I have to organize projects.
It just happened somehow as a task.
I always tried to go for the ‘flow‘.

I always enjoyed learning useful things.
I was always astonished by the bark of a tree, the creations of nature, the masterpieces of engineering, the incredible knowledge and  evolution behind a simple tool like a swiss knife.

Sometimes my jobs paid very well, sometimes – and as I got older it happened more and more often – I did tasks for free, for improving the life of the people, for helping the ones who didn’t had the resources to support their ideas, skills and capabilities.
I loved to face to the new challenges; making some small, but valuable moves what could affect others life positively both as an entity and as a society.

A few years ago I decided to move from the for-profit sector to the non-profit; I had some interesting ideas what could affect the life of many people.
With some friends of mine I started to work on establishing a new NGO for international projects, both in Europe and in the developing countries.
We failed.

It would be easy to put all the responsibility on the antidemocratic moves of the government of my country, what denied to make an NGO with goals to think and act in a holistic way in the field of education, environmental development and protection; to build self-supportive societies and to support volunteers abroad with insurance and food.

My mistake was simple: I took too much risk.
I thought that almost 2 years will be enough to get over the bureaucracy, so I went to Africa as a volunteer again, waiting for the start to involve donors for my projects officially.
I was patient.
While I was abroad I started to sell  my stuffs to cover my expenses there like food or necessary stuff for my experiments I worked on.
I made presentations, comparisons to existing solutions. I did workshops.
I even came up with some new business deals, offering win-win situation to all participants.
But at the end although I won almost all of the battles, I lost the war.
Both in my country with establishing our own NGO and both in Africa with another NGO.
I had to come back to Europe and to find a way to restart nearly everything.
The first step to do this is having resources; it could be a job or an NGO/donor.
But before anything I had to think about the reasons of the failure.

As I formerly wrote in this blog, my favorite question is ‘Why?’
So I will write about the reasons of the failure in my next posts.

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